…..And we all get crabs 

It’s doubtful that Dr. Rabid Hell is a real doctor. Maybe he does it on the side when not fronting Evil Scarecrow? Either way, the good Doctor arrives on stage and orders that we sing “Rise” at the top of our voices and hundreds of people do. 

Evil Scarecrow are playing Download in a few days, they deserve to. This is the same band, after all, that turned Bloodstock into a field of jibbering idiots last year. To say they aren’t taking themselves too seriously is a little like saying Iron Maiden are a bit good. There’s a clue in “Space Dementia.” This is every inch a classic metal track, but one which contains the lyric “my sister I miss her, but she looks a lot like Lister.”  

They follow this up with a metal version of “Thundercats” you know, just cuz….after this, the party poppers come out and we do a collective war march that Brother Kraven Morrdeth leads us in. Let’s be honest, this isn’t Cannibal Corpse. 

Because of the King Diamond-after-a-heavy-night-out make up they sport, it’s easy to get the wrong impression about the East Midlanders. They just play classic sounding heavy metal in a very odd way, but then Ronnie James Dio made a career out of singing about wizard’s and magic, so why not evil robots?

“Robototron” turns 500 metal fans into Peter Crouch for a bit, but my, Dr. Hell and Brother Pain – for all the other paraphernalia – can’t half play the guitar.

The show is magnificent chaos. “Dance Of The Cyclops” turns the Slade Rooms into a “sexy pit of ballroom dancing” and no one seems to care. And “Crabula”? What can you say about “Crabula”? A giant robot crab appears on the stage (and it says much that even if you didn’t know it would happen you wouldn’t be remotely surprised) and people are turned into crabs for a bit. 

The bottom line is quite simple. Evil Scarecrow can get everyone everywhere eating out of their hands, it seems. In an age where a stageshow is almost frowned upon, they are quite brilliant live. Download, you’ve been warned.